the labyrinth

i eat boys up; breakfast and lunch. then when i'm thirsty i drink their blood.
we're just, you know, wreaking a little havoc.

I am Snape. I’m so sad because I poop my pants all the time. I don’t have any friends because I stink like broccoli and poop. I teach Potions to Harry Potter and it’s really boring because he’s so cool and it makes me have depression. Okay, I think I’ll go cry now, but not before I poop my pants…Bye.

I returned to my room and found that I had locked myself out. I called for Filch who turned up covered in lipstick, clearly having finished the Sangria, broke open my door, laughed at me, punched me in the shoulder too hard and left me alone. I thought of my father. I cried.

Today that Potter boy showed me his middle finger. When I attempted to punish him with detention, he shoved me into a wall screaming, “Bother! Bother!” over and over. Later he and his orange friend repeated the vile attack until I lost consciousness. Tonight I prayed for the first time in twenty years; I prayed for the end.

Button, oh button, oh where hast thou fled?
Did thee tarry too long amongst fabric and thread?
Did thee roll off my bosom and cease to exist?
I wish I could follow thee into the mist.

“I was at the Yule Ball with Lily Evans. I asked her to dance; she asked me to die. Would that I could Lily, would that I could.”